?

It's been a while. I bought myself a new car! I love it. I just got the windows tinted as well....it looks amazing.

I feel like i've been sick for weeks.
I'm having a little bit of trouble with feelings of jealousy lately. I don't know why. Nobody's perfect...and sometimes stupid shit really can get to me. People always tell me that I "ooze confidence". I don't feel that way. I wish I did....
I'm kind of glad that my emotions don't really effect the way other people see me. I guess that's good.

Gah. I just can't stand the fact that my boyfriend is obligated to talk to and hang out with all of his "fans". Also the fact that all of these "fans" are girls that insist on trying to be his best friend. I guess I just want his attention too.
We've been together three years almost, I guess the novelty wears off sometime. He still tells me he loves me every time I see him. He still spends most of his time with me. He still is very interested in me sexually. Maybe i'm just a little crazy. Lately we just haven't had much extra time for one another.

Some piece of shit hoe bag at my workplace stole $100 from me. People are pathetic. I'm glad that i'm the person that you have to steal from in order to have enough money.
Obviously i'm doing much better than you.
Buuut, I also feel like an idiot for even leaving my purse in the locker room without a lock. I mean, shit man, we're all there to work! You would think everybody is earning a n honest living, but no. This fucking scumbag steals this money out of my wallet, ON PAYDAY, mind you.
Fuck.
It's really sad that people cannot be trusted.

I feel like i'm changing. I don't want to do things the way my friends do anymore. I have the incredibly overwhelming urge to be responsible. Most of the time I am. I feel like when i'm around them it's easier for me to fall into that "i'll do it later, lets smoke, lets get some beer" state of mind. I mean I smoke more than they do....and they don't really get shit done. I do, when i'm on my own. I plan ahead. I am almost always prepared. I am organized. I guess i'm just longing for a more productive friendship. Or maybe just having other people around that are looking out for me as much as I am for them.
I'm sick of being the go to girl. I want to feel like I can call my friends when I really need help. Instead they're the ones calling me. I have to make sure I alwasy have jumper cables in my NEW CAR....and it's not for my sake...it's for the sake of my friends that cannot keep their shit together.
I don't know. I feel like I am the only one in my group of friends that actually cares enough to do things the right way. To plan ahead, to save money, to think 15 minutes ahead rather than 15 seconds. Won't they ever get sick of barely getting by on couch change because heaven knows paycheck to paycheck is a feat for them.
Three of my best friends donate platelets for money every other day. Slang your blood if you're irreponsible! I wish I could say they do it out of the goodness of their hearts, but we're all pretty fucked up. Oh, and the needle marks in each arm look fantastic when we all go out.

Otherwise, i'd say i'm content.

8

Woke up this morning, and instantly remembered I was supposed to drop Bones off at the groomer at 8. It was 9:30. Dang. haha. So I called them and asked if I could bring him in still...and the nice flamboyant guy on the phone informed me he was already there! Oh man, I was stoned at the time...so it took me just an extra second to realize that my Dad had dropped him off for me. Yay for clean and trim puppies.

I need to make my way over to my eyebrow place. Also, I neeeeed....to get my Mom something she will love for Christmas. I already got her pajamas and a lambie sleep mask with some aromatherapy stuff. I want to get her something country...so she'll like it. I want to buy a nice little lounge suit for my dad. Something comfy to wear around the house. The Boy needs some new moccasins too. Hopefully i'll be able to find some today for him while he's at recording, that should give me a good couple of hours at least.

I'm so excited for Christmas. I'm so close to getting a new car for myself. I just hope all goes as planned. Which is not what usually happens, but hey, i'll try.

7

Woke up around 11:45. This is my first week in months that i have two days off. le sigh.

I need to pick up today, running a little low.

I've been buying so much old music, and I forgot how much I love it.

We official, like a referree with a whistle...

putting all my ducks in a row

I am proud to announce that my credit card balances all say $0.00, while my savings account is slowly but surely growing. Thanksgiving was fairly uneventful. Drive there. Visit. Eat. Drive back. It was a nice holiday. I believe I have most of my Christmas shopping done. Which is fairly amazing. Mom - flannel pj's, robe. Dad - neck/beard trimmer, cuff links, Laker mug and coasters. Boy - sweater, hat, pants, moccasins. Boy's Mom - crystal lighthouse figurine, pajamas. Boy's Dad - Steeler coasters, Laker mug. I wanted to get more, maybe I will, maybe I won't. We'll see how much money I can scrape together. I need to get my Mom something else...but i'm not sure what. She told me not to get her a gift, but I am, so i'll have to figure something out. I haven't been very good about my daily exercises for the past week. I need to be more consistent. I will be more consistent. The Boy and I ventured over to Hoagies & Wings after we got off work. Our friend was working so he proceeded to hook it up with some free hoagies! Mmmm sauteed mushroom hoagie. We then made our way over to the club and received a fat "happy hour" kush shake sack. Rolled a little spliff, sat down in the backyard with the boy, and enjoyed. le siiigh. I was tagged! :] I am to write 6 things about myself. Heeeeere it is: 1. Procrastination is one of my biggest vices. 2. I am incredibly good at cooking. 3. I don't eat meat. 4. I can roll a mean blunt. 5. I often have feelings of overwhelming complacency. 6. I can't go a day without putting the according moisturizer on every inch of my body. Also, online shopping is so damn spectacular.

my moon, my man

I am obsessed with music. I am constantly in search of new music. What a joy. Sound. I am truly thankful for my ears and ability to hear. ...Not having a radio in my car is slowly chipping away at my soul. Today was fairly mundane. No work...nice. I did get my eyebrows done for the first time since Halloween. Big mistake going to that lady for threading. Threading may be cleaner than wax, but it is far more barbaric. I'll stick to wax. It is much more precise and equally effective. Did a thirty minute workout at my house. Showered. Made a spinach sandwich. Filed my nails. Paid some bills online...save paper! Read some more of Rant. Ooo. I love it. This mustard and navy blue cardigan is lovely. I've had it for a while, but it's been so hot that I haven't had the chance to wear it yet. It's odd how we exist. Or co-exist. We create these relationships with different people that come in and out of our lives. Some are longer than others. Well my point is, that some people may or may not impact you. But it's mostly up to you... I don't know why I keep people out. My few close friends are just that, few. But I am so content with them. Rambling now. I'm high and my brain is going a mile a minute. Thoughts? I'm glad I have my boy. He is my rock. Even after 2 1/2 years, he still takes me out on dates. swoon. PEACE&LOVE