?

It's been a while. I bought myself a new car! I love it. I just got the windows tinted as well....it looks amazing.

I feel like i've been sick for weeks.
I'm having a little bit of trouble with feelings of jealousy lately. I don't know why. Nobody's perfect...and sometimes stupid shit really can get to me. People always tell me that I "ooze confidence". I don't feel that way. I wish I did....
I'm kind of glad that my emotions don't really effect the way other people see me. I guess that's good.

Gah. I just can't stand the fact that my boyfriend is obligated to talk to and hang out with all of his "fans". Also the fact that all of these "fans" are girls that insist on trying to be his best friend. I guess I just want his attention too.
We've been together three years almost, I guess the novelty wears off sometime. He still tells me he loves me every time I see him. He still spends most of his time with me. He still is very interested in me sexually. Maybe i'm just a little crazy. Lately we just haven't had much extra time for one another.

Some piece of shit hoe bag at my workplace stole $100 from me. People are pathetic. I'm glad that i'm the person that you have to steal from in order to have enough money.
Obviously i'm doing much better than you.
Buuut, I also feel like an idiot for even leaving my purse in the locker room without a lock. I mean, shit man, we're all there to work! You would think everybody is earning a n honest living, but no. This fucking scumbag steals this money out of my wallet, ON PAYDAY, mind you.
Fuck.
It's really sad that people cannot be trusted.

I feel like i'm changing. I don't want to do things the way my friends do anymore. I have the incredibly overwhelming urge to be responsible. Most of the time I am. I feel like when i'm around them it's easier for me to fall into that "i'll do it later, lets smoke, lets get some beer" state of mind. I mean I smoke more than they do....and they don't really get shit done. I do, when i'm on my own. I plan ahead. I am almost always prepared. I am organized. I guess i'm just longing for a more productive friendship. Or maybe just having other people around that are looking out for me as much as I am for them.
I'm sick of being the go to girl. I want to feel like I can call my friends when I really need help. Instead they're the ones calling me. I have to make sure I alwasy have jumper cables in my NEW CAR....and it's not for my sake...it's for the sake of my friends that cannot keep their shit together.
I don't know. I feel like I am the only one in my group of friends that actually cares enough to do things the right way. To plan ahead, to save money, to think 15 minutes ahead rather than 15 seconds. Won't they ever get sick of barely getting by on couch change because heaven knows paycheck to paycheck is a feat for them.
Three of my best friends donate platelets for money every other day. Slang your blood if you're irreponsible! I wish I could say they do it out of the goodness of their hearts, but we're all pretty fucked up. Oh, and the needle marks in each arm look fantastic when we all go out.

Otherwise, i'd say i'm content.